what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
