I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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