Got a toothbrush?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
