I seem to have left my pride at pride
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
