Can i not drive my cunt home
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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