I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
