My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
