also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
