You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
