it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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