want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize