Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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