we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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