Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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