Its about making memories worth repressing
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
