I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
