I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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