reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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