went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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