if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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