Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
