if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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