I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
