Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
