My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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