this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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