Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize