1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize