i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize