can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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