be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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