I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I will pee on everything he values.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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