I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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