The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he fucked my hip out of place.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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