I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
