finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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