I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
