I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
