The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
