If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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