I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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