Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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