No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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