Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
