Soap is not a condiment
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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