Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
