I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
