living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I need moral support for this bender
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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