Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
