The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
