fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize