butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
