Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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