It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
