My hand turned me down
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
