I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
