those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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