Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
