So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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