there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize