I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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