Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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