By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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