We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
