We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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