Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
