okay pat passed out under dana's car
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
