the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
