i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
