Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
