I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
