Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
