Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
