I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
